The Potter Hair is Mightiest of Them All
by Suou-Akaika-Akemi
Summary: Okay so this is s silly, plotless crack-ish fic that i thought woukd be funny to write down...


((an: this is a crackfic-ish fic, written only because i imagined people getting frustrated at harry's hair, it's also a little inconsistent, not fitting into the timeline of the canonical story))

Harry did not know how he got himself into this predicament. He was quite sure he was dreaming, until he repeatedly pinched himself and realised this was not a dream.

He was sitting in a chair in Grimmauld Place 12, Draco sitting opposite him, with Snape and Voldemort standing beside him. Hermione and Ron on the other hand were pacing next to Harry.

"We could try magic," the girl finally said after pondering for minutes. They had been arguing about Harry's hair. Somehow, everyone seemed to agree on the fact that his wavy mop of unruly hair resembled more a bird's nest, or a pack of hay, rather than hair.

They had already tried the best Muggle hair products, but the full box of hair gel, hair wax, two flacons of hairspray and the furious combing from the girl did nothing to tame the black bush on Harry's head.

Strangely everyone except said boy grew frustrated by this. When they had tried all of the best and the most expensive hair products had Hermione suggested they try magic instead.

"Lenis!" Draco exclaimed, pointing his wand at Harry's hair. The black unruly mop smoothed down and a collective sigh of relief could be heard.

Harry blinked, as seconds flew by everyone scrutinizing his hair.

A lock freed itself from the smooth hairstyle the spell kept it in. Then a second lock, and a third followed. With a puff, Harry's hair was back into it's usual bird's nest state, making Draco groan.

Voldemort massaged his temples while Snape shook his head irksomely. Hermione huffed and Ron laughed.

"Fixum Capillus!" The Dark Lord cried, wand aimed at Harry's head. Once again, the unruly mess of hairs smoothed down and parted neatly at the side.

Hopeful eyes gazed at the top of the bespectacled boy's head. Alas, after barely half a minute it sprang back, each lock pointing into a different direction.

Snape's brows twitched as he growled, "Pectinem Crinalem!" His wand shooting the spell at the victim's hair. This time Harry's stayed neatly styled for slightly more than half a minute. When his hair puffed back into it's original untidiness, Draco banged his head into the table, groaning loudly in frustration along with Ron and Voldemort. Hermione huffed and Snape pinched the bridge if his nose.

Then a bombardment of spells shot towards Harry's poor head.

"Cera Capillum!"

"Tonsus!"

"Coma Nitidos!"

"Tersus Capillus!"

Ron was the only one who, pitying his best mate, did not fire a spell.

Despite four relatively powerful magi shooting relatively powerful spells, Harry's hair stayed put for only a minute and a half.

"I can't believe this!" Draco yelled frustratedly. "These are the best and the strongest hairstyling spells ever invented!"

"Let's just shave his head!" Voldemort added screeching with similar emotions Draco felt.

"No, you won't!" Harry glared at the bald villain, hands flying atop his head in vain attempt to protect his hair. Snape had already transfigured a knife into a magic fuelled electric razor. Harry did not like the upward quirk of his lips and the malicious glint in his ebony black eyes.

Everything happened too fast for Harry to keep track of. He barely registered a 'Petrificus Totalus' when his hands and feet had already snapped to his body, making him go rigid as a statue. It was only by Hermione's and Ron's grace that he did not fall face first onto the floor, but was gently placed instead. The next second he felt Snape's long, dry albeit cold fingers and the cool steel of the razor on his scalp.

He wanted to scream, yell, kick out and bite, have a tantrum and jinx everyone - even Hermione and Ron as they just stood there, giggling. But of course, being petrified denied him the right to do so.

Once his most hated professor finished shaving his head he released Harry from his frozen state.

Draco was bellowing with laughter leaning on Ron and Hermione for support, who were equally amused as Harry stood with his near bald head. Voldemort grinned childishly happily, while Snape's lips stretched into an actual grin of mirth.

Harry, completely unamused, yelled at them, lecturing them about his rights and his hair's rights. To which of course, everyone replied with laughing harder. (It was completely amusing to see Snape giggling like a schoolgirl, shoulders shaking, childish giddiness shining on his face. Harry would have taken a picture and use it for blackmail, if not for the fact that his hair had been shaven forcefully.)

Good five minutes into his speech, however, his hair grew back with loud puff, making everyone go silent, while Harry droned on. He did notice the strange silence after a short time though, and looked questioningly at his companions.

"How...?" Was Draco's only incredulous question.

"How what?" Harry frowned. Pursing his lips, Snape reached down and lightly yanked a lock of his new grown hair. The boy reached up, only to feel the familiar soft hairs slip through his fingers.

"What sort of spell did you use?!" Voldemort asked, irked by his enemy's hair.

"I used no spell," Harry said smirking.

"Then how?!" Ron inquired bewildered.

"The Potter hair is mightiest of them all," grinned triumphantly the bespectacled boy, running his hands through his hair again and again. His statement made everyone groan annoyedly at him.

Up in Heaven Sirius Black, James Potter and Fred Weasley were cackling like mad, cheering for Harry.

"You show 'em what a true Potter is Harry!"

"Prongs, did you see Snivellus's face there," the godfather wheezed out and James nodded, still laughing.

"Malfoy's face too though," Fred added wiping tears off his face. "Though Harry did look funny with a shaved head." Sirius and James roared with mirth at that as Lily beamed down at her son.

"His hair will always win, like his father's."

"I remember Severus doing the same to James, the next day there was no trace of his prank," Lupin smiled as Tonks snorted into her hand.

"Oh I remember that," Dumbledore interjected chuckling heartily, watching the group on Earth with love in his eyes. "Severus really thought he had got you there."

"Puh-lease!" James crooned grinning. "The Potter hair is mightiest of them all!"


End file.
